This is a blog entry for you. And yes, this is all about you.
There is no way you could possibly understand how I feel, but I will try my best to help you be a bit more compassionate.
Imagine one of your children or your unborn grandchild dead. Did your mind automatically switch to "I can't possibly think of something so awful" or did you feel like you were going to throw up? Imagine all of the what ifs you would have? Would it be anything you could get over or past? Now imagine what it would feel like to watch one of your children try and try and try to have a child after the first one died. Imagine what it would feel like to have miscarriage after miscarriage and spend thousands trying to have a baby. Just imagine for a moment, how it must feel to be me. Or even my mom. Could you do it? Could you let your mind go there?
I'm guessing you didn't. I'm guessing you couldn't let yourself do it. And I'm guessing if you ever read this, you’ll feel like the victim in a cruel joke. But the truth is, in this story, you're an antagonist. You are an "other." There is no way you could fully understand what life is like without one of your children, and you think we should forget about our babies and just be fine with it. Your attitude is one of the many scars us warrior mamas wear, and we refuse to do as you wish.
True story. Not everything about you.
Our love for our children isn't about you.
The hurt we feel because a living child you raised was ignorant isn't your hurt. It is hurt you helped inflict because you feel no compassion towards anyone else.
You aren't the victim. You're the villain.
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