Have you tried...

The past few years, I have had people (probably well-meaning, but so incredibly annoying) give me "advice" on how to get pregnant.  Or even worse, do something extremely passive aggressive to let me know their opinion.

"You just have to relax."

Uh, you relax.  When does anyone relax when someone tells them to relax?  Seriously, when?  Even when I am relaxed, I am still not pregnant.  Being relaxed does not work when dealing with infertility.

"Have you tried this (flowery/citrusy/healingy scent) essential oil?"

Yes.  Not only have I tried essential oil, I have tried acupuncture and chiropractors, cutting out dairy, cutting out red meat, only eating organic, exercise, and god knows what else.  And you know what, it didn't help me with my infertility.  

"I watched a documentary on how your thyroid affects fertility, have you had your thyroid looked at?"

Yes.  That was one of the first things looked at when it took me 15 months to get pregnant with a blighted ovum.  That is one of the first things all fertility doctors look into because it one of the easier and less invasive things to fix.

"You should get a second opinion."

Yep.  Did that.  I did two rounds of IVF at one clinic and two at another.  The second clinic figured out why we could not develop embryos.  

Conceive Naturally

The husband worked with this guy who was "Christian" and knew the ways of the Lord and fertility.  I will refer to this guy as JA for JackAss.  JA tells the hubs about this fertility thing he knew of called "Conceive Naturally".  The husband, not knowing what it was, tells me and I look it up.  Apparently, it is the church's version of sex ed and timing intercourse.  

Man, JA is so smart.  I would have never thought of timing.  What was I thinking?

I told the husband what JA's fertility plan was, and told him he was passive aggressively telling him, he does not approve of us doing IVF.  Hubs does not talk to him about fertility treatments any more, and when JA tries to bring it up, the husband tells him we aren't doing those Conceive Natural courses he told us about.  

Eventually, JA proves that he is a JA to the company and decides to move back to his home state.  Knowing my husband would have to finish cleaning out his cube, what does he leave behind?  One of those Conceive Naturally pamphlets. 

  

The Support Group

I recently, as in today and the last couple of days, had someone I know send me an invite for this group about babies. She was one of the admin.  I met this person through a support group for couples who had a stillbirth or miscarriage, so I figured it was probably supportive.  I join it and the first thing I see is that the other admin had changed the name of the group from something about naturally getting pregnant to something a bit more progressive.  The first article that was shared was about how all these women get pregnant after a failed IVF round.

Uh...huh...So needless to say, I left that group.  I wonder what this person would say had she known that I am using a donor egg... Then, I remember how this twit judged another of the mamas from our support group for not breastfeeding her twins.  Really?  We all had to bury babies and you are worried about her feeding her babies?  

Endometriosis is the worse.

No, seriously, it sucks.  The doctor said endometriosis is spectrum disorder in that the severity of it affects people differently.  I experience cramping, but not as bad as others.  Instead, endometriosis destroyed my egg quality.  The quality of my eggs diminished rapidly the past 5 years while I was not on birth control.

  

I was able to get pregnant with Genevieve so easily because I had been on birth control for 15 years prior to that.  So I have probably always had endometriosis, but I was unknowingly treating it all those years.  

The morale of the story is endometriosis destroyed my ovaries and nothing short of using an egg donor will give me a rainbow baby.  No, you cannot fix me. Whisper the advice into your hand, and then, slap yourself in the face with it.

Thank you.