On June 3rd you turned 6 months. I can't believe it's been 6 months since I've held you in my arms. I don't know how I got here. Time seems to escape me.
The day was horrible. I woke up with a feeling of dread. My heart was filled with sorrow and my eyes were wet with tears. It hit me a lot harder than I imagined or could prepare for in advance. I felt broken and defeated. I ugly cried. Your dad cried. We lit a lantern in memory of you. After it went up a distance, it turned black and fell to the earth. Good thing it rained earlier because otherwise we would have set someone's yard on fire.
It was symbolic of this journey. When we started some of it was getting burnt but then it went fine. Just like when your lung filled with fluid, but then you were better. The balloon turned black and fell from the sky. Your organs filled with fluid, but instead of falling, you flew to heaven.
I love you and miss you always.
Love,
Mommy
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