Sadness

The sadness that comes with loosing Genevieve is overwhelming. It's like a gust of wind blowing in my face out of nowhere and as quickly as it comes, it sometimes leaves as quickly. 

Things that are supposed to be fun, like going on a date with my husband, turn into tears because the wind blew at just the wrong moment. I wonder what her lasts thoughts were and hope she knew how much a love her. 

The thought of my life without her fills me with dread. I've already been told by my in laws that I should continue to have more children. It's heartbreaking they think she can be replaced. I could have a million babies and none of them could replace Eve and the thought that she could be so easily forgotten brings tears to my eyes. 

The same people have told me to "feel better". The sadness of what has happened smothers me at times so the thought of me feeling better is laughable. I'm not sick with some curiable disease, my daughter died. She died about 3 weeks ago. I will not be feeling better any time soon. For now, it's just sadness.