It's been difficult. The week leading up to Mother's Day, the actual day, the week after, this last weekend and today have been awful. I was doing so good. I was feeling happiness and comfort, but the last two weeks have been hell. I feel like I've gone backwards.
This morning I was feeling anxious and so I started to listen to Loud Like Love and "breathe, breathe, believe" part really stuck out to me. I would take a deep breath and just believe you were with me. The thought of you watching over me brought me some comfort when I've felt I've had none.
When I was younger, I was afraid to die. Now, I'm no longer afraid of death. When it's my time, I will embrace it like an old friend. That is because I know I'll be embracing you. I know you will be there waiting for me. Except, I'm sure it will be no wait at all for you. That is my hope. I don't want you to feel this pain. I want you to feel love and comfort. I want you to be happy. I want all the things for you that I can't have right now.
You be happy and I'll just be here and remember to breathe, breathe, believe.
I love you and miss you always.
Love,
Mommy
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