Monday, May 18, 2015

Breathe, breathe, believe

Dear Genevieve,

It's been difficult. The week leading up to Mother's Day, the actual day, the week after, this last weekend and today have been awful. I was doing so good. I was feeling happiness and comfort, but the last two weeks have been hell. I feel like I've gone backwards. 

This morning I was feeling anxious and so I started to listen to Loud Like Love and "breathe, breathe, believe" part really stuck out to me. I would take a deep breath and just believe you were with me. The thought of you watching over me brought me some comfort when I've felt I've had none. 

When I was younger, I was afraid to die. Now, I'm no longer afraid of death. When it's my time, I will embrace it like an old friend. That is because I know I'll be embracing you. I know you will be there waiting for me. Except, I'm sure it will be no wait at all for you. That is my hope. I don't want you to feel this pain. I want you to feel love and comfort. I want you to be happy. I want all the things for you that I can't have right now. 

You be happy and I'll just be here and remember to breathe, breathe, believe. 

I love you and miss you always. 

Love,
Mommy

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