Mean Body

Dear Genevieve,

I thought for sure I was pregnant. I thought for sure you were going to be a big sister. I thought for sure this was going to be the month. 

I was late. I was get nauseous. I was using the restroom frequently. All of the signs were looking good. All of the signs were pointing to me being pregnant. 

Until today. Today all of that was shattered. All of my hopes and dreams for the future of the potential baby came to an end. It feels like failing. I feel silly for evening hoping or dreaming I was actually pregnant. Of course it wouldn't happen for me. 

I love you, and I want you to be a big sister. I want to be a mommy to a baby I can hold too.

The inbetween is so hard for me.  I don't know what I can do differently.  I feel so hopeless.

None of this is your fault.  I love you now and always.

Love,
Mommy