I've been told the baby after a loss is called the rainbow baby. It signifies that a storm has come and even though the storm isn't forgot, the rainbow is a symbol of hope for brighter days ahead. As you know, I've been trying to get pregnant with a rainbow baby, either Violet Eve or Beau Everett. And as you know, it's been frustrating.
I was hoping it would only take 4 cycles like it did with you. I'm now on cycle 7. The first few cycles were wonky and so this would technically be my third normal cycle, but it is annoying none the less. I do everything I did to get pregnant with you, and added more tracking and tests. One might think that I would get pregnant even faster now because I know so much more. One would be wrong.
I've decided that after this cycle, if I'm not pregnant, I'm done trying for awhile. I sincerely hope I become pregnant, but if I'm not, I'm done trying so hard.
I've been imagining my rainbow baby, and I'm excited to become pregnant with him or her. I will find out right away if it's a boy or a girl, and I really look forward to bonding with the new baby.
I hope and pray this is my cycle. I love you and miss you always.
Love,
Mommy
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