Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Dear God

I've got a bone to pick with you. I've been feeling all of this for awhile and if you are all knowing and what is in my heart, none of this should be news. 

You. Are. On. My. Shit. List. 

"God wouldn't have taken her if he didn't need her" is what I've heard. Well if that is the case, what was the point of me getting pregnant then? You couldn't predict that you would need her at that exact moment? You seriously couldn't need her in 80+years? 

I've also been told you have a plan for my family. Super. Your plan sucks. Your plan includes killing my daughter. Your plan has me feeling broken and I hate you and your stupid plan. 

I'm told you will bless me with another child. Really will you? I trusted you with my Genevieve and we both know how that turned out. 

That's the part where I'm told to have faith, even if it's hard. I'm guessing they are referring to Job. Well, I always thought you were an asshole for what you put him through. You seriously made a wager with the devil and screwed with someone's life? Asshole. 

I'm pissed. I'm drowning in my anger. I hate that this is happening. So I'm supposed to believe that you either A. killed my baby or B. you just hung out on your cloud in the sky and thought, "well let's see how she handles this, ya know for shits and giggles."  I don't even know how to begin to forgive you. Maybe some day that will happen. That day isn't today though. 

Sincerely,

One pissed of momma 

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