I am a part of this online support group for moms who've lost their babies in the third trimesters. Several of the moms have blogs as well, and one of them uses hers to write letters to her daughter. After reading a few of her posts, I decided writing to you is what I wanted to do too.
I miss you very much. When I saw your little face after delivering you, I cried out that you would have been so perfect. Your daddy reminded me that you are perfect, and he's right, you are so perfect. The first time I saw your face on the 3D ultrasound, I fell in love. I also learned at that visit that you had fluid in your lungs. I was so scared for you, but when it cleared up two weeks later, I thought we were safe.
I was scared to become a mommy. There was a lot I wanted to do and be for you. I didn't want to let you down. I wanted to be better than what I had. I wanted to be as perfect as you are, even though I knew that was impossible. Your daddy reassured me that I would be a good mommy and you would love me regardless of any mistakes I made.
Tomorrow is your due date. I was extremely excited learning that your due date is the same date as Grandma Muggy's birthday. I know you are with your namesake now. I know she is taking good care of you. She was a wonderful grandma. She taught me many things and took care of me when I was a baby. That's how I know she is giving you the love and snuggles you need.
I know I will be with you some day and each day I am closer to when I do get to meet you. I love you and miss you.
Love,
Mommy
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